Dancing and Decaf
by Cascaper
Summary: One-shot songfic set to the most perfect Bombalurina song I have ever heard: Legally Blonde's "Bend and Snap." What happens when the scarlet queen's owner lets this song play on her computer with Bomba in the room? R&r, please. Reviewers are loved.


"_You do it well!_"

Bombalurina put her paws over her ears. What unbearable tripe was being spewed these days from her owner's music collection these days. At least this one was ending.

"You don't like that one, huh Red?" The human queen laughed at the sight of her scarlet cat's position on the bed, reaching over to pet her head. Standing up, the girl walked out of the room with a murmur of "I could do with some coffee…"

And of all things to name a cat, this human had picked 'Sassy Red,' calling her either name for short. Bomba wished she'd considered a little more before giving her such a moniker. What did it even mean?

The next song started on the music-spewing machine that her human had been playing with for the past hour. "Oh, catnip, not more drums…" Bomb groaned aloud. But then the lyrics began.

"_Look at my ass look at my thighs  
I'm catnip to the guys  
They chase my tail they drool and pant  
Wanna touch this but they can't…_"

"She did NOT just say catnip." Bomba's ears shot up and she listened harder.

"_All the boys wanna come and play  
Snap my fingers and they obey  
Why do they follow me round all day?  
Watch me while I walk away!_"

Tripe? What tripe? This sounded like a song written for her. Bomba got to her feet and began to practice some moves. "This would be perfect at the next Ball…" she purred.

The human queen came back in with the steaming coffee mug to find a very happy scarlet cat purring loudly and- dancing? She blinked. "Red?"

Stopping in her tracks, Bombalurina slowly turned her head to see an amused look on her human's face as she stood in the doorway. "Fleas," she muttered.

Now the girl laughed. "You dance when no one's looking too? I thought I was the only one." She reached down and petted her cat's head again. Then she put the coffee down and started to dance herself. "_Bend…and snap!_" she sang along.

Bomba studied her human's movement as she sang the chorus. "_Bend _down…and _snap _up again. Oh, so that's what it means." Of course, all that the girl heard was "Meow."

"You wanna try, Sassy?"

"Meow!" This earned another laugh.

"Okay, come on. Down on the floor." Bomba was hard put to practice without going on her hind legs, so she merely moved back and forth as her human bent and snapped over and over again. Eventually she developed a four-legged version of the movement- stretching out with her forelegs so that her head was almost parallel to the floor, then snapping onto all four again.

"_Excuse me, will you teach me that?  
I'm tired of living alone with my cat._"

"_What?" _Bombalurina yowled. What was wrong with living alone with a cat? "We're better and more graceful than you any day!"

"What's the matter, Red?" When she saw the look of indignation on the feline's face at that last lyric, the girl laughed harder than ever. "It's only a rhyme, Sassy. Come on, the song'll be over before you learn this!"

"_I'm too rocking to lock away  
All the boys come to gawk away  
Dropping jaws from a block away  
Watching how I walk away!_"

Now that was more like it. Bomba allowed herself to join in on the last chorus.

"_I DEPEND ON MY FRIEND  
-GO PAULETTE GO PAULETTE  
-I DEPEND ON MY FRIEND  
-GO, GO, GO PAULETTE  
-I DEPEND ON MY FRIEND called the BEND AND-" _

As the girl prepared for the final "bend and snap," Bomba suddenly felt something bad was going to happen. She figured she better hit the bed just in case. But she ran across her human's foot in the midst of the snap, her hand went up and-

"OWWWW!" Bombalurina wailed at the top of her lungs as she was deluged in hot, sizzling coffee.

"Oh crap," gasped Paulette.

* * *

_A/N: I heard one of my friends singing this song and even though I don't really like _Legally Blonde _or the musical of the same name, I had to look up the lyrics. They are perfection for our dear Bomba. You will r&r, won't you? Thanks. _


End file.
